When You're Gone
by Imagine-Hope123
Summary: When something happens to one Dan, how does it affect Zoe. Rated T for character death and self n't read if you're sensitive about that area. Chapter 1 is very very short but It improves over the chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Dedicated to xoxhopiexox – I killed Dan for you! :-)**

Zoe stood on the bridge, watching the boats go past. Tom was stood on one side of him and Aniesha on the other side, Keri next to her.

"I'm sorry Zo," Tom said, his hand rubbing Dan's shoulder.

"He shouldn't have been sent on that mission. Maybe he'd still be here, not gone," Zoe said, tears falling down her face. Dan had been sent on a 'lone ranger' mission to get info on a subgroup of KORPS, called VERTICIST, which was causing trouble now that KORPS was gone. Apparently there was a mole who told them that MI High were coming and had got prepared, setting up a bomb. Unfortunately, Dan was caught in the bomb and was killed, affecting everyone.

"We'll get through this, I promise," Aniesha said, being the caring person that she was.

"I guess," Zoe said, turning around so that she wasn't looking over the water anymore. She walked along, Aniesha, Keri and Tom following her. "I'll miss you, Dan," Zoe whispered, silently crying.

"I'll be waiting for you Zoe, up here."


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is a lot longer than no. 1.**

 **TIME HOP - 4 months**

Zoe sat in her room, staring into space whilst Keri and Aniesha painted her nails in a range of colours, attempting to cheer her up. It wasn't working though. Zoe was obviously lost without

"Come on Zo, I know you miss Dan, we all do, but it has been months," Keri

"It just feels weird without him. He was one of the first people to treat me nice, unlike KORPS and SKUL," She replied, sad from just talking about him. "I don't feel right,"

"I promise you, we can get through this. Maybe we can get Frank to organise counselling sessions or something, just to help you through this," Aniesha

"I guess," Zoe said.

"we're done with your nails. We'll wait for them to dry and then got to Starbucks or something," Keri said.

"That would be cool," Zoe said, unconvincingly. The group called up Tom and together they went down to the Starbucks near Toms house, purely for his convenience, AKA he didn't want to walk too far.

Keri got a cookie dough frappuccino, Aniesha got a cupcake frappuccino, Tom got a summer pie frappuccino and Zoe got a cinnamon swirl frappuccino because it was Dan's favourite drink. Zoe couldn't take her mind off of him at all. Starbucks was awkward because no one talked, leaving everyone to look back at the last four months, something that was killing Zoe from the inside out.

After Starbucks, they all went their separate ways. Zoe's walk home was quite long so she put her earphones in and listened to the radio. 'See you again' came on and she listened to the lyrics (of the singing (she couldn't understand the rap)) each word killing her a little bit at a time.

 _It's been a long day without you, my friend_

 _And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

 _We've come a long way from where we began_

 _Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

 _When I see you again_

It related to her so much. She missed Dan so much and wished she could see him again. The next song on the radio was 'heaven'. That only went and killed her just slightly, very, a lot more.

 _Baby, you're all that I want_

 _When you're lying here in my arms,_

 _I'm finding it hard to believe_

 _We're in heaven_

 _And love is all that I need,_

 _And I found it there in your heart_

 _It isn't too hard to see_

 _We're in heaven_

It was like the radio was trying to tell her something. Whatever it was, she decided she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled the earphones out of her ears and ran away from her house but towards the graveyard where Dan now lay. She got to the graveyard and went straight to the grave where Dan now was.

"Dan. I miss you. I miss you so much. I have never missed anyone like this before. It kills me to know that I won't be able to turn to you when I'm alone. I love you, and I never will stop, I promise," Zoe said, silently crying again.

"I miss you too, to the end of the universe and back."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey. Quite short again -** I **was watching Casualty. I hope I don't offend anyone by what I mention at the end. If you are offended, just say and I will sort it out.**

 _When I'm gone_

 _When I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me by my hair_

 _You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

Dan had sung that to Zoe once. They had had a day at his house and most of the time he was playing his guitar and this was one of the songs he played. He also played 'What about angels' and 'you are not alone'. The cup song just happened to be what was on the radio at the time. Zoe seemed to have the radio on all the time now. It reminded her of Dan, which she like.

Tom once said, "We're all stories, in the end… just make it a good one, eh?" Tom explained to Zoe that it meant that even though Dan's story cut short, she still had a story to complete, to make full. No one wants to read a boring book, but an interesting one makes the best book. Even though it was a quote from Doctor Who, Zoe still though it was a good one, even though she wasn't following it. She was still moping around, living a life of nightmare days and restless nights.

Sometimes she heard his voice, in her dreams. She would hear him say he loved her or he was waiting. It scared her a lot – she didn't want to be reminded he was gone, which she was every day. Being told that at night as well though killed her.

She was currently in the bathroom, holding a blade in her hand. She had heard that this helped take away the pain. She did three cuts, not too deep, but they still drew blood. Who ever said it helped with loss were right. She felt less achy about dan, concentrating on the current stinging feeling. She ran her wrist under cold water, dried it and put a plaster over it. She hoped no one would notice, but it felt good.

"Don't do this. I love you too much for you to hurt yourself."


	4. Chapter 4

"Sit down Zoe," the woman said, gesturing Zoe to sit on the very comfy looking armchair. Keri had told Frank to arrange counseling sessions, which he did, which was why Zoe was now sat here, listening to some person. "So you've recently lost a friend."

"5 Months. Not exactly recently," Zoe said. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be with Dan.

"How have you felt without them?"

"Them has a name. Dan," Zoe said. She had been holding up a strong fort until she mentioned Dan's name. "I miss him. I love him but now he's gone." Zoe wasn't going to tell a randomer about hearing him, talking to him. She'd be admitted to a mental asylum with no questions. She wouldn't be able to see Aneisha or Keri or Tom or Frank or Stella, who had all been helping her. The pain in her heart wouldn't hurt as much while she was around them. The pain still hurt a lot but not as much as when she was alone. That's when the blade would come out to comfort her. Sometimes she would hear Dan telling her to stop but she couldn't.

"Zoe? Zoe?" Zoe snapped out of her trance. "Are you okay?" Zoe could feel the tears running down her face.

"No. I'm not," Zoe said, standing up and running out of the room, down the set of stairs and along the streets, ignoring Frank, who had been in the waiting room. She got home and locked herself in the bathroom. She must have forgotten to shut the front door because she could hear Frank running up the stairs. She ignored him and got out her blade. She made three cuts. One for Dan, one for her, and one for running away. She washed her arm, dried it and put a plaster on it. She cleared everything away and unlocked the door, getting a hug immediately from Frank.

"Zoe. You're so thin. Have you been eating?" Frank asked.

"Yeah. I just have been doing lots of parkour. Double, one lot for me and one lot for Dan," she lied. She couldn't eat. Just the thought of food made her feel physicaly sick. Sometimes she'd eat when at school, but it was the tiniest portion ever. Maybe a couple of chips, or a packet of crisps, not a lot. Even then, she was usually sick afterwards.

"Look, Zoe, come back with me to the base, hang around for a bit, so you're not alone," Frank suggested.

"I'm tired, I'm going to stay here," she said.

"Okay, one of us, me, Stella, Tom etc. will come round tommorow to check on you, okay?"

"Yeah. Bye Frank," Zoe said. As soon as he left, she sat down on the landing and cried. Why couldn't everything be normal? Why couldn't Dan be here?

*******************

"Please Zoe. Don't do this to yourself. I am here. I always have been and I always will be. Forever."


	5. Chapter 5

**I would have updated earlier, but I was making strawberry jam with my mum because that's what I do in life, make strawberry jam.**

 **I'm going to have a little rant. I'm amazed by the fact I have 12 reviews in only 2 days but compared to the number of views, that isn't that much. I would love it if you read a chapter, to take two minutes of your time to tell me if you liked/didn't like it and tell me why. I love to improve my writing and it would be a great help if you guys who read it told me how I can. Rant over.**

 **Enjoy la story!**

 _Zoe stood on the bridge, looking over the water so far down below. One jump and she could end this pain. All this pain over one dead boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. One jump and she could be with him forever. She was sick of life. Cutting just to subside the ache of her heart. Not eating just so she wasn't always sick. Lying to everyone, saying she was okay - she really wasn't okay._

 _"I'm going to be with you soon Dan. Then we can't be apart. I can't stand life without you. Half my heart is gone. My soul is dead. Only a body left, the vessel to life."_

 _She let go of what she was holding onto. There were two options. She could jump. Or she could fall. Falling sounded so wimpish. People always said to jump into life. Well, that's what she was doing, jumping into a new life. She stepped forward. The last breath she would ever take. She could hear shouts of people. Frank, Stella, Tom, Aniesha, Keri and Dan. They were telling her to stop. To not jump. She ignored them though. One step. That's all it took to be with her love._

 _The team always teased her and Dan that they were Romeo and Juliet. Maybe they were. That's what their relationship was like. Dan had died and Zoe was killing herself to join her love. She jumped._

 _They say your life flashes before your eyes and that's exactly what was happening. She was seeing her life. Life with SKUL and KORPS. When she first met the team. The countless missions. When she went to find all of her sisters. When she came back after finding everyone. Meeting Keri. More missions. Dan dying. The last 5 months of torture. Then darkness._

"That wont happen to you Zoe. I promise."

 **Yes, it's short but there is a reason for it. You'll understand in the next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

She woke up, panting. She was lying on her landing, just like after Frank had left. She had a dream that terrified her and for the first time ever, she realised what she was doing to herself. She was killing herself. Everything that she was doing wasn't meant to be killing her. She cut to get rid of the pain of the missing half of her heart and the no eating thing was because it made her feel sick.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 6:15. She ripped off the plaster on her arm. She hated plaster because one, they hurt to take off, two, because they made her skin sticky and three, because her skin couldn't breathe with them. She stood up and went back into the bathroom to have a shower, to refresh herself. Even though what she had dreamt was a dream, she felt disgusting as if she had actually jumped of off a bridge.

Once out of the shower, she got changed into fresh clothes and sat down on the edge of her bed. She had to tell someone. She didn't want to tell either Frank or Stella because they would make her go to stupid counseling sessions and she didn't want to tell Keri or Neish because they would go to Frank and Stella, resulting in counseling. The last person was Tom. Maybe that wasn't a bad idea - he wouldn't tell anyone if she didn't want him too. He was probably going through the same thing too, considering he was Dan's best friend.

She ran down the stairs and out of the house, running up the street, around a corner, another corner, and yet another corner. It wasn't actually that far because all the roads were quite short so she was at Tom's in minutes. The time was now 7:33 so she didn't expect the family to be eating. From experience at Tom's house, they always had dinner at 6 on the dot, no earlier, no later. Zoe knocked on the door and waited until his mum came to the door.

"Hello Zoe, how are you?"

"I'm okay Mrs. Tupper. Is Tom in?" She asked.

"Yeah, he is in his room. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"No thank you," Zoe replied.

"Could you take these up to him?" Tom's mum said, handing Zoe a packet of biscuits.

"Of course," Zoe said. She went up the stairs and along the landing. She knocked on Tom's door.

"Come in," Tom shouted.

"Hey Tom," Zoe said, chucking the packet of biscuits at him. He caught them and opened them. Stuffing one in his mouth he said, "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I have something to tell you," She said. She was slightly regretting coming, but she was here now, no backing out. She had lost all power to speak so decided to show him instead. She lifted her sleeve, showing him the cuts. He said nothing, just sighed. He stood up and held Zoe's arm, looking over the scars, old and new. He then stood back and did something that surprised Zoe. He lifted his own sleeve, revealing cuts of his own.

"You are not alone, I promise," He said.

"Stay with Tom. He'll protect you."

 **You didn't think I killed Zoe did you? I couldn't do that, not after killing off Dan. I'll probably update tomorrow after school - who knows.**


	7. Chapter 7

Zoe lay on her bed. Even though she realised that Tom was going through exactly the same as she was, she still felt like she was alone. It had been awkward between her and Tom ever since they came clean with each other. She needed fresh air. She sat up and put her shoes and hoodie on. She went down stairs and walked out of the house. She didn't know where she was going but she needed to get out. Where ever she was she felt trapped, alone. Nothing was fixing this ache in her heart, nothing.

She walked along the bridge. This bridge was becoming a common thing. When she first spoke to everyone about Dan, in her dream, now. Maybe this was fate. This bridge was where she was supposed to meet Dan again. Maybe. She stood on the edge. Maybe this was the way to go. One step, just like her dream. One fall and she could be with him again, her one love, her first love. She stepped. That one step.

"No!" She heard someone shout. She turned around and saw Dan. Dan. "I love you too much. Don't do this," He said. She felt dizzy. Dan couldn't be here. Dan shouldn't be here. She stepped away from the edge. "I love you and now its my time to go," He said. He began floating up.

"I love you!" She shouted.

"It will get better. I promise," He said.

 **Really bad last chapter and it was super short but i kind of got stuck of where to go so i went a cliche. :-)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I thought I would clear up any possible confusion with my story. At the end, Zoe sees Dan.** Have **any of you read 'Vicky Angel' by Jaqueline Wilson? You know how Vicky follows Jade around until she saves Jade and gets her wings and gets taken up to heaven. In my** story **Dan would say something at the end of each chapter. That was him essentially 'following' Zoe until he saves her from the bridge, which results in him going to heaven. This was not Zoe hallucinating or dreaming. As for other chapters, there won't be any. The rest is up to your imagination. After Dan rescues her, she gets better but it's your choice how long or how hard it was for her to get better. Thank you all for reading 'When You're Gone'. :-)**


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